Are you sure?!

Below is a letter written to my future, unborn daughter. The image above is a sculpture by the artist Jago.

Are you sure you want this, Evelyn? Like, are you actually positive? It’s not that great. The world is burning, and we can’t afford anything. No, like, the world is literally on fire—have you seen California?

Are you sure you want to breathe this air? Before you know it, you’ll have to check the AQI, because you might not be able to breathe safely. We’ve done it to ourselves, you know, by chasing short-term profits over our long-term survival. Capitalism and power-hungry politicians won’t let us plan any other way.

Are you sure you want to see daylight?

Are you sure you want to have a mind like mine? I wouldn’t want that for my worst enemy. It’s a constant battle inside. Sure, the meditation, medicine, and nature help. But the screens make it worse. They tell me I’m sick; I don’t want you to be sick too.

They say that the healthier that I am, the healthier you will be. God knows my health left me long ago, with 9-inch scars, torn ACLs, a low VO2 max, and high cholesterol. Surely, you don’t want the flesh of my broken body.

They say it doesn’t matter, that you would still want life, but you can’t confirm or deny. Either way—you don’t choose. I thought I could choose for you, but other people increasingly want more of a say. I wish this could just be between you and me.

I understand if you want it, Evie, but it’s not all great. You’ll be faced with problems to solve—problems that I can’t even conceive of. A burning world and a broken democracy, to start. And, as always, humans killing other humans. For what?! If I love you, shouldn’t I save you from a world of hurt?

Oh, but the butterflies, Evie, the butterflies. Both the physical insects and the feeling in the pit of your stomach. The devotion and love you will feel for both people and animals, like when you see your dog rolling around in fresh cut grass. The first drink you’ll have with your friends the summer after graduating high school, high on life but still anxious that the cops will show up. Driving away from a night with your crush, feeling electricity run through your body. The vastness of a body of water, the connection you’ll feel with the ground. I can’t fake this, Ev, I can’t make it up.

There are things you’ll love, but there are things you’ll abhor. Is it worth it? Are you sure?!